Experiencing life as a young person can be full of excitment and fun. It can also be a troubling time, full of conflicting feelings as we try to balance working out what we want out of life, our own free will with the demands of others; parents, school, peers and social acceptance. Its a time of massive change and new awareness.

Becoming independent can seem like a daily challenge, one we didn't expect to have to fight so hard for.

• You may have things you LOVE including people
• There may be things you HATE and are told 'it's wrong to hate'
• You may feel LONELY, that you don't fit in or no one understands you or even cares
• You may feel you have NO CONFIDENCE and are AFRAID to go out
• There may be strong feelings of ANGER and/or GUILT which you can't share
• Or SHAME about how you are feeling
• Perhaps you are SELF HARMING to let yourself know you are alive, to release your  feelings or so others 'hear' and 'see' you or so you can 'hide' knowing you have that control
• Maybe you feel you CAN'T PLEASE anyone including yourself
• And there may seem to be so many things that are just NOT FAIR
• Maybe you just DON'T CARE anymore and have thought of SUICIDE, what it would be like to end the pain, what it would be like as an experience.
• You may want to talk about DEATH, and the intrigue of the concept of death and get clear signals from adults that its not ok to talk about it.

You may be feeling any one or more of the things above and more besides those listed.

Then there are the pressures of exams, of fitting in and inevitable losses in life. You may be experiencing such overwhelming anxiety there seems no way out. Talking about how you are feeling to someone you can trust can really help, even if you find it difficult to talk. Depressing our feelings deep inside of us because we may have heard a message 'it's wrong to have feelings' or 'be emotional', can cause the most damage of all, whether we are young or old! It can cause us to feel, yes, depressed! Realising anxiety is a 'normal' part of life and how we learn to manage that anxiety can make all the difference. We are not weird or abnormal for having feelings, its called being 'human'. It may be hard to believe this when others laugh at us or give us messages to the contrary, make us feel stupid or small or make us feel like we are too much of burden to cope with.

We live a in a confusing world with conflicting messages 'do well now so you can have a fantasic future' what about having a 'fantastic now', a connected in the moment experience? Learning to live in the here and now, being aware and acknowleging ourselves and our feelings can really make a difference to our connection with the world. If you don't believe me, try talking to a trusted friend or adult or counsellor. If you haven't tried expressing it how will you know if it works or not?  If talking is too difficult there are lots of other ways to express yourself, such as art, drama, singing, being in a band. A helpful therapist can work with you to find what works for you.

© 2016 sarahadamssmithcounselling