Basics of Real Living

Lots of people have found the following tips very helpful and grounding for life. Best of all they are FREE ...



Stop and breathe. Consiously learn to breathe properly. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Research shows mouth only breathing has an affect on the body and health. Fill your lungs to the bottom. You can practice breathing in through your nose for 4, holding it in your belly for 4 then releasing over 4, and hold it out. This is called a pattern interupt, when we are feeling stressed we can actually amp down our response, our chemicals and hormones, by using this technique. We become masters of our own bodies!


Prioritise what is important

We hear of others 'down sizing', getting back to a more natural existance, getting out of the rat race. We can get greater peace of mind, contentent and refreshment by changing our approach. Life has become about 'things' instead of people and our connection with others. You will find lots of helpful tips on this site on how to become more connected.


Learn to manage anxiety and stress

Anxiety and stess is a killer. Even if we are living we can feel dead inside to try to numb the anxiety we may be feeling. We kill ourselves inside to survive. Real living is about really feeling. Some believe its 'wrong' to have feelings and feel guilty for have a certain feeling. We are human, it is actually normal to feel. Once we release our built up anxiety and stress, life can hold a lot more meaning.


Stop judging others and ourselves!

Juding others and ourselves is actually exhausting. It blocks the freedom of living in ourselves and others. We can judge ourselves so harshly we feel worthless, this affects our confidence and self esteem. In fact, it can irradicate our confidence all together. Do what is right for us, doing no harm to others and let others use their right of free will to make their own decisions.


Be forgiving, make your peace with yourself and others

Forgive yourself and others. Accept what and who you cannot change. Remember we can't control others, we can only change ourselves if we want to. Even then it takes hard work but it is not impossible. With time and the support of others, we can come to a place of peace. Holding onto resentment can cause us more damage than what has happened. Wishing someone dead hurts only us, the other is unaffected by our wrath and we can't focus on anything else. Remember being forgiving doesn't mean accepting what has happened is ok or acceptable, it means letting it go so it doesn't affect us. So we can flow, live life freely enjoying the experience of each moment. When we hold onto resentment, this flow becomes blocked.


Believe in your potential and the potential of others

It may be hard to see any potential in ourselves at all. We may even find it easier to see much potential in others but none in ourselves. What confused creatures we can become! The reality is there is potential in all of us, and there are things we can all work on and things we don't like about ourselves. It doesn't mean you or others have no potential. Accepting this fact can, at times, seem impossible.


Be grateful

Have you tried writing a gratuity list? You may be surprised how much you have to be grateful for because for so long you've been focussing on all you feel is 'wrong' in your life. Try it and see for yourself. It can be as simple as 'I am grateful the sun is shining today'.


Be the individual you were born to be

It's not easy to not follow the crowd. Being an authentic, real person is much more rewarding than fitting in. It may be helpful to ask yourself 'what is so wrong with being different?'


Learn to love yourself as you love others

Again we may feel we find it easier to love others than ourselves. How can we truly love others if we hate ourselves? Before you all email me with your thoughts and feelings on this comment, please give it some thought!


Do something nice for someone else

Helping someone else either by a kind act or word, or just a smile can help take our mind off our worries and can actually help lighten our load. Try it today and see what happens.


Smile, use humour, it can lighten your load

If you feel there are no smiles available and your sense of humour has gone awol, take heart, once you start to try and work through what is bothering you, gradually unloading our anxieties and stresses, smiling starts to come naturally. We need to unload our heavy rucksacks of blocked emotion and what is really bothering us. A good friend, a listening ear, a smile from another, a kind act, watching animals play can all help lighten our load and ease the tension.


You may like to try this exercise:


When alone look in the mirror, look into your eyes and tell yourself you really love yourself. At first it may be hard to even look into your eyes let alone tell yourself you love yourself. Keep trying over time it will become easier though you may not really believe what you are saying. The first few times it may make you cry. It's ok. You are just not used to giving yourself this message. Keep going each time you try it will get easier. Eventually you may come to believe it.


Remember you have been sending messages to yourself all your life, why not try a loving message and see what happens?


Remember 'our' throughts create 'our' world as we 'see' it.


© 2016 sarahadamssmithcounselling

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