'When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves' - Viktor Frankl

Angry? Me? No never ....or Yes Very!

Did you realise you can feel angry and frustrated without realising it? Well frustrated maybe, for some reason being frustrated can be more palitable or acceptable to us but not angry. Lots of us think being angry makes us a bad person which can sometimes lead to lots of guilty feelings about being angry. Perhaps we've been on the receiving end of angry and no, its not very nice. Most of us don't enjoy that experience. What we are talking about here is behaviour and that is very different from our feeling.

Just like a lot of feelings they have their advantages. For instance anxiety can really come to our assistance and warn us when we are in danger. If you don't believe this try it out the next time you're in a car with someone who doesnt seeem to be driving very safely! Feeling angry when we have been mistreated can also be a sign to know we need to take action to protect ourselves, and by the way by action I don't mean punching them! Even feeling envious can let us know there is something we are not happy about in our own lives and a sign we may need to take action to change something so we can feel more fulfilled.

Neither holding onto anger or having an angry outburst where we frighten everyone within a mile radius of us is helpful - this is behaviour. So what are we talking about here?  The actual 'feeling' of anger, what is it about? What is going on for you? What circumstances, way of being or thoughts led to this feeling? And what can we do about it?

There is a lot being written about forgiveness and letting go. Its been proven than holding onto or surpresing anger is more damaging to ourselves than others. So we don't want to store it away or surpress it, we dont want to cause criminal damage or be done for GBH, so how do we first own it, then release it?

The good news is anger can be worked through, just as with our other emotions. Sometimes is about learning how and thats something few of us have been taught.

Therapy can help us explore this part of ourselves we may find unacceptable even when we may feel our anger is justified.  The strange phenomona of being human sometimes means what we think we are angry about is not the issue at all.

© 2016 sarahadamssmithcounselling