You may be experiencing bullying at work, in a relationship or at school. Or perhaps you know someone who is being bullied. Here are some helpful tips for both adults and kids.
Many times bullies pick on a difference, we may be bullied because of our height or lack of it, our colour or size, where we are from, how we talk, who our family or friends are, the way we do things, what we believe in or for anything others perceive is different.
Whatever the reason remember it is not your fault - no one deserves to be bullied.
Bullying is not funny, it's very serious. Bullying can be:
Physical: pushing, shoving, breaking things, hitting, physcial outbursts toward you
Verbal: teasing, name calling, shouting, relentless, putting you down, finding fault
Social: exclusion, starting rumours, cyber bullying or texting
Emotional: manipulative reasoning trying to make you feel guilty or like a bad person
Some things are obvious on the outside but there is a lot happening inside which others don't see like fear, stress and sadness. Fear can make us afraid to leave home or go visit places, sadness can block us from being our true selves, maybe we dont enjoy doing the things we once did anymore. Stress can also affect our body, our stomach and or neck, shoulders may feel in knots. Sleeping can be difficult or perhaps we sleep too much to try to forget the pain.
Some helpful tips you could use:
1. Be prepared
2. Think beforehand what you want to say
3. 'Act' confident
4. You could use humour to defuse the situation
5. Think of ways you can protect yourself, see what is ahead and take action
6. Where you can, avoid places bullying may happen and be willing to leave
7. Don't face it alone i.e. don't walk to school alone, have a friend with you
8. Don't take expensive items out with you and label your belongings (at school)
9. Tell someone, a trusted friend, parent, teacher or another adult even though you may feel like a tell tale.
10. Shine the spot light on the bully's behaviour. The bully is relying on your fear.
Its not easy but this stuff does work ... you can beat a bully!
Perhaps you would like to talk, find out more, explore if individual therapy or couples counselling is for you, please contact me confidentially and without obligation.
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